Attack of the Clowns
by PSManiac
Summary: Coco's worst fear has been realized, clowns! Will her fear keep her from rescuing the islands? No flames please.


PSManiac: Hello This is my second story here, woohoo!

Crunch: And remember everybody...

Coco: PSManiac owns nothing.

PSManiac: I wish I did though. So review!

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Crash Bandicoot in:

**Attack of the Clowns**

Scene 1: Cortex's Castle, Chemistry Lab, 9:45 P. M.

(Cortex is fiddling arond with some chemicals.)

Cortex: With this concoction I'll be able to... umm.

(He flips through a thesaurus.)

Cortex: Aha! Evolve:verb, advance, Devolve! So this concoction should _Devolve _Crash Bandicoot!

Muahahahahahahaha- "cough" "cough" "splutter" "cough."

(Cortex quickly sucks on a cough drop.)

Cortex: Now for the final ingredient.

(He slowly drips one drop of a red liquid into the potion then the whole lab explodes! We see a

robot turned into a toaster, a grandfather clock into a sundial, and Cortex turned into a big-headed

chimp. N. Gin walks into the room.)

N. Gin: I keep on telling him not to but does he listen? No, yet again.

(He takes him to the Evolvo-Ray.)

Scene 2: N. Sanity Island, Bandicoot Residence, Midnight

(The Bandicoots are all sleeping peacefully. Then a hand covered Crash's mouth. He wakes up.)

Mysterious Person: Crash, I come in peace. It's me, N. Gin and- why is there a yellow stain

appearing on your bedsheets?

(Crash blushes and runs off to the bathroom. Coco appears wearing a bathrobe.)

Coco: Crash? What's going on?

N. Gin (dreamily): Oh! _Hi Coco. _Ow!

(Dingodile, who is behind N. Gin, kicks him.)

Dingodile: Get on with it! He's still hunting us down ya' know mate!

Coco: Who is this "he"?

(N. Gin pauses for a while.)

Other Person: Well?

N. Gin: I'm just making it more dramatic!

(Coco sees Ripper Roo, Rilla Roo, Koala Kong, Tiny, Tropy, Trance, Komodo Joe, Komodo

Moe, Zim, Zam, and Oxide outside as well.)

N. Gin: We mean, _CORTEX!_

Coco: But aren't you guys his henchmen and... where is Brio and Nina?

N. Gin: They have been... been... _clownated!_

Coco: Y-you mean l-l-like c-clowns?

N. Gin: Exactly!

(Coco runs out screaming.)

N. Gin: Uh oh.

(Crunch walks in.)

Crunch: Has any of you mentioned clowns in any way?

(Everyone points to N. Gin.)

Crunch: Listen, Coco is deathly afraid of clowns, we don't know why but she is.

(Crash returns from the bathroom.)

Dingodile: Listen, can we hide here for a while mate? We'll explain everything.

Crunch: Okay but do the explaining in the morning fool. We are pumpin' tired.

(Everyone comes in.)

Scene 3: N. Sanity Island, Bandicoot Residence, 9:20 A. M.

(Everyone is sitting around the table eating breakfast. Coco's wearing earmuffs.)

Crunch: So what you're saying is that when Cortex evolved, he was turned into a clown?

(They nodded.)

Crunch: That's crazy talk fool! Oh, and also he can turn you into a clown just by touching you?

(N. Gin nodded, the others shivered.)

Aku Aku: This is a predicament most surprising.

N. Gin: Well, Brio and I are the the only ones who know that Cortex comes from a family of circus

people, how do you think he got that hair?

Aku Aku: No, not that. We're out of butter, and I just bought a fresh box of it.

(We see Tiny with butter smeared all over his face and his belly is huge.)

Tiny: _"Buuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrp."_

(We zone out until we see Emperor Velo having a nap. He wakes up when his window breaks from

Tiny's burp.)

Trophy: At least it wasn't from the other end.

Ripper Roo: HEE HAW HAW HAW HAW HEE HEE HAW!

Scene 4: N. Sanity Island, Jungle, Noon

(We see N. Gin, Crunch, Trophy, and Crash hiding behind a tree.)

Crunch: You sure this macdaddy-of-a-plan is going to work?

N. Gin: Of coarse! It's fool proof!

Trophy: I know, but is it _clown_ proof?

N. Gin: Well, uhh...

Crunch: Shhh! He's coming!

(A bush rustled and... a bunny leaped out.)

Crash&Crunch: Awwwww!

(Suddenly, a net falls over them and Cortex's airship appears in thin air. Cortex made the ship

invisible! N. Gin and Trophy who weren't caught in the net are smiling! It's a trap! They were slowly

pulled into the ship.)

Trophy: Hey, Neo. Can you pick up the pace? I need to be a a wedding at 2 o' clock. The cake is

delicious and I don't want to lose my reputation as Master of Time.

(They start to go up more quickly.)

Scene 5: Cortex's Castle, Armory, 1:30 P. M.

(Crunch and Crash are in a cage attached to the ceiling of the armory. Neo, Brio, Trophy, Nina, and

N. Gin are also in the room. Then, Tiny, the Komodo Brothers, Rilla & Ripper Roo, Koala Kong,

Trance, Zim, Zam, Oxide, and Coco comes into the room. Coco is also in a cage.)

Tiny: Hey boss, watch this. Clown, clown, clown, clown, clown, clown.

(Coco screams and rattles the bars.)

Tiny: Ha ha ha ha ha- omph!

(Coco grabbs Tiny by the snout and starts to pound him on the ground. Neo separates them.)

Cortex: Stop fooling around! We've got worlds to conquer and bandicoots to destroy!

(Coco is thrown Crash and Crunch's cage. Crunch punches the bars.)

Crunch: I... can't... break... through.

Cortex: Of coarse you can't. The cage is made out of Nioxidium 7, the hardest thing in the galaxy

and it comes from Oxide's home planet.

Oxide: Yeath, my planet ith very rethourceful, ithn't it earthlings?

Cortex: Now on to ruling the world!

Crunch: Wait a minute. Aren't you going to gloat and tell us your plan fool?

Cortex: No, because if I gloat, then you bandicoots will find a way to foil my plan.

Crunch: Dude, you watch way too many cartoons.

Cortex: Well I... umm... alright I'll gloat!

(He pushes a button and a huge machine rises out of the floor. At the center is a power crystal.)

Cortex: When I was a boy in a family of circus clowns...

(Everything except Crash stops.)

Crash: I know I don't talk while on the air but this is an emergency. This speech will be long and

boring and blah blah blah... So, I'll use the camera and press fast forward.

(Everything fast forwards and then plays.)

Cortex: So by using this crystal, I shall create a zombie clown army than can clownify anything and I

shall rule the world!

(Coco screams.)

Cortex: Bye-bye!

(Cortex and his henchmen leave.)

Coco: I have and idea of how to get out of this cage.

Crunch: How?

Coco: Well... try fitting your arm through the bar, then pull the chain off the ceiling.

(Crunch does this, and the cage falls onto the floor. No one harmed. Coco knocks on the chain.)

Coco: Yesss! Copper!

(She connects it to Crunch's arm and hurls the chain onto the crystal. Crunch's arm gains lots of

crystal energy and breaks out of the cage.)

Coco: I tell you guys everyday that copper conducts energy.

(Suddenly, the machine activates and many zombie clowns rise from the ground. Coco hides in a

corner and Crash and Crunch start throwing stuff at them.

Crunch: We're out of stuff!

(Coco, realizing her brothers are in trouble, runs over to the machine and yells.)

Coco: Hey! Clowns!

(All the clowns face her.)

Coco: Yeah, you guys are lower than dirt, yes dirt.

(The clowns start trodding towards her. Coco quickly types on the keyboard. Then she fearlessly

turns around, sticks her toungue out, and presses the big red button. A wave of blue energy erupts

from the crystal and turns the zombies into dust. Coco then grabs the crystal and Crunch and Crash

put her on their sholders. Crunch starts singing.)

Crunch: For she's a jolly good fellow, for she's a jolly good fellow, for she's a jolly good

felloooooooooooooooow, that nobody can deny!

(Although everyone calls it stinging. Cortex enters the room.)

Cortex: No! This shouldn't happen!

(They turn to him angrily.)

Cortex: Uh-oh.

Scene 6: Cortex's Castle, Gate, 2: 03 P. M.

(The castle rumbles as Cortex gets beaten up. The bandicoots walk out of the castle when they

finished.)

Coco: Who wants coconut cake?

(Crunch and Crash raise their hands as they head toward home. A bruised and bandaged Cortex

crawls out.)

Cortex: Wait! I want coconut cake too!

(A bunny jumps in front of him.)

Cortex: Agggghhhhhhhhh! BUNNY! I have bunniphobia!

(Cortex runs across some hills leaving a trail of dust. The bunny follows.)

**The End!**

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PSManiac: So remember to review people! Reviews make me happy. 


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